It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
