Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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