Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
