'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
