she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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