Yo dont text me then not text me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize