My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
