Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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