But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
