No stitches, just platelets and will power
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
