guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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