i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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