Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
my liver is dry heaving
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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