after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
