For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
