Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
soo... how was my night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
