We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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