I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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