I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
