somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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