Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
