Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
