Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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