i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
