Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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