I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
