I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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