that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
