I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize