just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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