Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
