i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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