Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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