Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize