What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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