he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
