Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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