My balls are so social today.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
