Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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