I just saw a hot homeless man
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
