im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
