I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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