it's not cheating when I paid for it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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