so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
