I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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