Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
