My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
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I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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