so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
