Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
