After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
