I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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