You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
