Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
