I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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