Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
