I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
