Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
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about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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