Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
