who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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