If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
