i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
