Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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