Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
