Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Randomize
