his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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