Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
